Make them Cry

Gut

hangs as low

like heads:

I’m in the tunnel

with no light in sight.

What sweet words do I have in my napsack?

as I unwrap,

corseted breasts,

heart all in pieces

dad’s dead & he is me.

I keep on rescuing leeches..

I can’t believe it, I really can’t believe it..

mental mountains

I’m forever climbing

strategizing

money

burying hatchets.

I work my own way.

Twenty-nine years

no days off & what do I have to show?

I should’ve fell on my feet

These days are meant to kill me,

it must be.

What gave me the idea that I’m special?

I can care less for the industry,

but I want Aubrey to know

that some of us want peace.

Morals more strict thank Dubai

& a heart just as gold. I understand

soiling

but my fav poet said, baby don’t go givin up on love

my tears sworn an oath on that page, on that ink,

ya know, the heavy blink

to clear up the eyesight

& I forgot to mention that feathered pen

I’d dip

& drip a tear

ink to you

cross my heart, promise my life to literature

what a fool

knee deep in the Quran

& all I see is hell.

carving feminine muscles

of the abs.. my womb

opens for royalty only

I woke up from a bad dream..

If God’s on my side, how am I still losing?

I wonder if my lover knew

my life hanghungs on a torn thread.

in fact, it all kills me

the dismissals, missed calls, & rejections.

I promised my husband

my being. crowned

in the eyes of full Tamara Solange Das

all I ask for is my Taj Mahal, but

too many jewels flickin ya wrist

like ya ego is bigger than my heart

& it’s more than painful

I’m dora in the desert

cus you left me

in the cold.

I’m looking for my heart in God’s hand

What happens when I find nothing?

What happens when the softest girl has no protection?

Tragedy, Tragedy, Tragedy

I ain’t mean to write no action movie

so it’s like it is me, but it isn’t me

& y’all wonder what it did to me,

this is what it did to me..

I’d spare you my pain

with my death.

but I keep waking up,

agonizing