Ex Factor

so the songs sing

& you

remain broad-shouldered  here.

I remember the cardigan you wore the day we met. How it gave the illusion of righteousness. I said on the phone, I will marry this man. God laughs

reliability made you easy to love

wit made you harder to fuck

provision made you mine.

What did I have to offer?

I won’t bare your children,

or take your last name.

I’m a fool in your culture

& a foe in my faith.

yet

I loved with what was left in my chest.

bones

need banging

to remain strong.

I wrap my bad habits in a metaphor

—truth, nonetheless.

you wrapped our fate

in a cotton cloth

to save for later. the delay makes it a lie

the unveiling makes it betrayal

I’ve lost my pride

& been stripped of the very peace

that keeps me coming back

it all sits at my waterline.

care for me, care for me

I know you care for me.

there for me, there for me

said you’d be there for me.

cry for me, cry for me

said you would die for me.

give to me, give to me

why won’t you live for me?